A self critical thought expression

So that whole ‘back in the weight loss’ zone thing that was going on….yeah…that didn’t last as long as I’d hoped. And I was doing so well! And the cycling event that I’ve got in a couple of weeks? Well I’ve had to reduce it from doing the 100 mile one to the 60 mile one. I’d taken a look at the .tcx file and the amount of climbing was too much for me considering I haven’t been putting in the effort. I know I can do 60 miles and the route is one that I know. I hope to still do it in a good time though.

I’ve done a fair amount of cycling recently and still need to increase my confidence on the new bike, especially with going down hills and just being able to ‘let go’. I know I have issues with putting my trust in something, but when you could come off a bike if it hits a pothole, then maybe I have a reason?  I went on a cycle to Brighton with some others and was definitely the one that got left behind occasionally because of this. It annoyed me quite a bit.

I should be on the bike more but have found it hard sometimes to find the time to dedicate myself for 5-6 hrs. I’ve been working a lot of overtime (my mum would have a go at me for admitting this!) to save up for next year and pay off the credit card. Shift work really makes you tired! And then because I get tired, I eat. And it’s usually the wrong things! So I think that I may have put back on the half stone I took so much effort in losing. Hmm. I should add that I haven’t weighed myself recently as I’ve chickened out but I can definitely feel a difference…..

My year away plans are still coming along. I’ve changed them again(!) so that I’m no longer going to Mexico. Mum and Dad (M&D) have “shared their concerns” – basically saying they don’t want me to go as I could end up with a bullet through my head and lots of drugs stuffed into every orifice. I’m glad that Andy has decided to come to Peru – it will be great to have someone to do the Inca Trail with.

Anyway, I have some soul searching to do in order to find what to change in my life so I can actually make a change in myself again. Geez. Who’d have thought that you could have such profound (albeit cheesy) thoughts on a nightshift! Hoping to write a more positive post soon….